Monday, 31 October 2011

Time of Winter

And so the clock was winded back an hour and winter time was re-conquered. Bloody finally. Summer time is stupid and should be abandoned forever. Summer is miserable enough as it is, so why bother fiddling with the clock and destroying the nice, dark evenings of potential stargazing? Mlah.

Anyway, I have re-conquered more than an hour of my life. The exam-period is at an end at last, and I can smell the sweet air of freedom again. Well, freedom to do something more than sleeping and maybe eating in my spare time, at least. And I passed the second exam as well, with honors nonetheless! Damn, I'm good. Or lucky, at least. In any case, this was celebrated by taking a whole weekend off from studying and doing fun things like hanging out with friends, playing board games, baking cookies and taking a walk in the pleasant (albeit misty) autumn weather. I even had time to clean the apartment, which was well-needed after weeks of neglect. One of these days I might even take a shower. Hah.

November is lurking around the corner, and I have to admit that I'll have to postpone my grandiose plans of participating in NaNoWriMo in order to save myself from collapsing into a ball of stress. It's happened before, and I'll do my best to not let it happen again, even if it means I have to cut down my hobbies into a quarter of what I would have aspired to participate in. As much as I'm interested in all kinds of stimulating things, I'd rather keep my sanity, for now.

On a last note: happy halloween! I sadly admit that the notion of the most fun holiday of the year approaching entirely passed me by this year. No pumpkin lanterns, no costume party, no scaring the neighbourhood with mad laughter at midnight, no vampire teeth, no eerie decorations for me this year. Just an insane amount of studying. Well, I guess oral exams are scary enough.

Fallen leaves and mixed feelings,

Thursday, 27 October 2011

Wish I was somewhere else

In good news: I passed the oral exam on atomic physics!

In awesome news: I passed the oral exam on atomic physics with honors! I am not quite sure how this happened. Mostly luck, as in being asked the right questions, I suspect. Nevertheless, it's a hell of a self-confidence boost!

In not-so-awesome-at-all news: I am frantically studying for the exam on nuclear physics tomorrow, while I could have been at a Within Temptation concert with some friends. It sucks, especially since my knowledge on nuclear physics is nowhere near my (apparently pretty good) skills in atomic physics. Oh well, back to trying not to fall asleep while reading the most boring book on physics I've encountered so far.

Physics and lack of music,

Friday, 21 October 2011

Accelerating towards unfinished sentences

Feelings oscillating between despair, a slight sense of hope, a feeling that everything will probably be okay, mind-boggling terror, and back to despair again. All in a day. Still no apathy though, which I believe is a positive sign. I have never worked so hard for a course as in this one, and I'm dead set on handing in all the reports and passing the oral exams. The slightest sense of doubt could tear my motivation apart right now, so I won't allow myself to break the illusion of that I have actually learned quite a few things, possibly even enough. I might not succeed, but however low the chances are I'm sure as hell going to try. Soon, I keep telling myself, I can stop driving myself insane with work.

Oh, and in case someone had missed it: Tori Amos' latest album Night of Hunters is truly magnificent. Even exceeding my expectations of Tori, which is not to say a little. It helps me keep what's left of my sanity more or less intact right now. If you're a fan of her, you should check it out!

Physics and music,

P.S. No, the title doesn't make sense to me either. This is what happens after fourteen hours of more or less constant studying.

Friday, 14 October 2011

I miss my sanity

Second of six reports handed in, with one whole minute left before deadline. Go me!

Argh, and the madness doesn't end until after the exams. I hate oral exams, they make me so nervous I forget everything I might've remembered if I had gotten to write an essay about it instead. Oh gods, I hope I pass these ones. I try to keep my hopes up, but right now they seem to loom above me like unclimbable mountains.

I miss my spare time. Not to mention the blissful feeling of not being constantly worried...

Monday, 10 October 2011

This is madness

Writing lab reports, feeling my brain slowly leaking out through my ears. Sleep deprivation and ununderstandable nuclear physical concepts. My spare time is less than zero. Why did I want to study physics, again?

And yet this is my favourite part. I'm learning a hell of a lot. Hopefully even enough to pass the exams.


Oh well, back to writing.