Friday, 24 March 2017

One day

The unbroken spirit obscured and disquiet 
Finds clearness this trial demands 
And at the end of this day sighs an anxious relief 
For the fortune lies still in his hands 
If there's a pensive fear, a wasted year 
A man must learn to cope 
If his obsession's real 
Suppression that he feels must turn to hope

One day I will feel good about myself regardless of whether or not I accomplish things. One day I won't feel shame for choosing my health above ambitions. One day I'll understand that I deserve to be loved. One day I'll learn to turn the self-criticism down a notch or three. One day I won't let myself ruin wonderful moments with frets about what I'm missing or failing. One day I'll realise the difference between what I want and what I need. One day I'll put my stubbornness and patience to more constructive use than obsession and compulsion. One day self-love will finally conquer self-hate.

This is who I want to become. Perhaps it is already who I am. I just need to get rid of all the parts holding the best version of myself at bay. Because I'd like to see this person shining through more than in occasional glimpses. It's time to take the time to make that happen.

Love and a battle-cry,

Thursday, 9 March 2017

Just keep on trying

Have you ever looked into the mirror and seen nothing but despair staring back at you from behind your own eyes? Have you ever felt stress coiling around your chest like a boa constrictor, for weeks and weeks? Have you ever looked around you only to find a world that doesn't seem to want you around? Have you ever really noticed what happens when you forget how to breathe?

Fuck, hope is hard to find right now. But I'll be damned if I ain't gonna try.

Love and struggle,