Friday, 9 March 2018

The missing parts of me

I found the missing parts of me
Inside the landscape of my dream
Far be it from me to forget
That me and all the Earth is one
So through this world I will go on
While Sun and Moon will rise and set
Inside the landscape of my dream
I found the missing parts of me

What does it take to be good enough?

Is it so strange that I find myself asking that question today, of all days? International Women's Day, smash-the-patriarchy day, and on top of it all I have been out of work for an entire week now. There are so many things I ought to be doing. Applying for more jobs, catching up on housework, replying to e-mails, texts and facebook-messages, being more ambitious about participating in manifestations, partying all night, seizing the fucking day...

And what am I doing? Sleeping a hell of a lot, mostly. Seriously, I could enter a sleeping-contest against my cat with a chance of winning right now. My body sure seems to be needing it after all the stress and whatnot. Also reading books. Apparently I've read 25 books so far this year. That's an insane pace even by my standards, and considering the fact that I use reading as a means of stress-reduction, this ought to be a sign of something.

Also skiing. Winter came at last, and the sodden, half-melted mass of white is a pretty sorry excuse for snow, but it is enough to finally go skiing. And so I've done. Slowly, with a blissful grin on my face, creating a poem (such as the one above) or two as I go along.

And you know what? Spending some time in re-generation mode is so goddamned good enough. Don't you dare guilt-trip me, or anyone, for taking care of themselves at the cost of productivity. Pfah. I'm busy as fuck producing happiness and forgiveness and other essentials.

This Not Giving A Fuck-thing is coming along pretty well. With time for really allowing myself to feel whatever my body harbours, and for tracing every fear to its origin, and not least with friends encouraging me to do so, a monumental change in my psyche is falling into place. It could even be that inner peace is up on the horizon.

Love and inner peace,

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